For several months now, I have been considering employment at popular ad agency Wieden + Kennedy. I’ve been working really hard at getting a job there, mostly by sending them psychic messages and talking to my peers about how great it’s going to be once I get hired.
But now that I’ve actually graduated from graduate school, I’ve decided that it’s time to step up my game. For the next indefinite period of time, my sole (and “soul”!) purpose in life will be to convince W+K what I already know: that I’ve got the moxie, the learnin’ (both “book” and “non-book”), and the free time required to be the best dang writer they ever hired. Until they see the light, I will be neglecting all wholesome pursuits, even more than usual, in order to attempt this ill-advised experiment in “go-getter” behavior.
If you miss Horse Facts, consider writing Wieden + Kennedy a testimonial about what a great employee I have the potential to be. The sooner they hire me, the sooner everything can go back to normal, I would guess.
Midge, what IS going on here? Why in hell would you want to offer your creativity in service to the makers of soda, the world’s worst-smelling deodorant and various sweatshop products? Because they have nice offices? W+K sells things effectively, but most of what they help to sell NO ONE REALLY NEEDS. Huge piles of money from pushing crap around the planet. You deserve better. We all do.
You mean “sending them psychic messages” hasn’t worked yet? Damn… that was my best technique at getting hired for MY dream job.
Me at night before falling asleep :::straining brain to emit powerful signals of psychic message::: “Dear Greg N—–, you want to hire me, you are going to pay me lots of money, and be uber impressed with my work. It will be the best decision you’ve ever made!” (and so on).